You are here at this website for a reason. Something has happened in your life to bring you

here. I would guess that you are here because you have heard the voice of Jesus say

something to you about what He wants you to do with your life. Deep inside a young man is

a desire to do something important with his life, a desire to be heroic, and a desire to

change the world. Hopefully you are here to open up your heart even more to what He is

saying to you, and to the life to which He is calling you. Let us listen…

He is speaking in the depths of your heart right now. He is calling you to do something

important with your life. He is calling you to be heroic. He is calling you to help Him change

the world. You want to know if you might be called to the priesthood or to another vocation

of service, and the Lord Jesus wants to tell you.

ON VOCATIONS IN GENERAL

A vocation is all about love. A vocation is a life of love in a concrete, particular form because

love is always concrete and particular. A vocation begins with His love for you. In that love

for you He is calling you to a particular form of life. We call this particular form of life a

“state of life in the Church”.

This love involves first His total gift of Himself to you, and then in response your total gift of

yourself to Him. After all He tells us in the Gospel according to St. John, “You did not choose

me, but I chose you” (Jn. 15:16). His choice for you is what makes a vocation different from

an “occupation” or a “career”. You can choose an occupation or a career for yourself, but a

you to accept, embrace and undertake for love of Him. Often we are taught to ask, “What do

I want to be when I grow up?” or “What life will I choose?” The better way to think is, “What

does Jesus want for me?”, “What life will bring Jesus the greatest glory?” and ultimately to

say, “I want what Jesus wants.”

A vocation is the concrete life He has chosen for you, and for which has specifically created

you. He is God and therefore knows which life that will be the best way to bring about your

salvation, your happiness, and His greatest glory. His call will completely fulfill you as a

man and a father. A vocation means to be sent by Jesus on a mission to help Him bring His

salvation to the world, and so will call for much love, heroism and sacrifice on your part. He

loves you and has chosen you. His love gives you the ability to love Him in return. The key

to discovering your vocation is first to allow Jesus to show His tender love to you. This love

will make you capable of loving Him in return.

As you can see, it is vital that you find your vocation. Your fulfillment, your happiness, and

ultimately your salvation can depend on your acceptance of the mission that Jesus has

chosen for you. Moreover, other people’s salvation will depend on you giving your full “Yes”

to Jesus in your vocation.

Presented below are the basic steps of vocational discernment. These steps, however, are

not steps that are taken and finished. We are always engaging these steps at deeper levels,

even after saying “Yes” to our vocation. Sometimes these steps are going on at the same

time, and there is always more work we can do at each step.

STEP 1:

HAVE THE RIGHT UNDERSTANDING OF HAPPINESS

You are here on this site because you are looking for happiness. But what is happiness? And

more importantly, what will make me happy? Is it getting what I want? Getting all As?

Winning a particular video game? Being with the "right" person? Becoming important or

famous or powerful? These are the kinds of things the world tells us will make us happy,

but we know by watching the despair and out of control lives of certain rock stars,

politicians, business executives and celebrities that none of these things bring true and

lasting happiness.

Ask yourself, "What will make me happy?" If we really think about it, we don't really know

what will make us happy. Our vision is clouded, even damaged, by original sin. Even still,

we know that we are looking for something, that things aren’t quite right and that we were

created for “something more”. God has planted this unquenchable desire for happiness in

our hearts, because He wants us to search in this life and to keep striving for that

something more. The “something more” that drives us on is the desire to become one with

Him ultimately in Heaven.

Curiously, we don't really find Our Lord Jesus talking much about "happiness" in the

Gospels. He does tell us, however, that His followers will be blessed, that He promises them

everlasting life, to be counted as His friends, and to become children of our Heavenly

Father. He also speaks of the joy and peace His followers will have.

Our Lord directs our attention especially to doing the will of His Father. He was wholly

intent on doing the Father's will. This fundamental attitude of Our Lord reveals to us

Thus, if I want to discern God's will for my life, I must first surrender my idea of what will

make me happy, and become focused on doing the Father's will.

1) Give up my idea of what will make me happy.

2) Seek to do the Father’s will

STEP 2:

KNOW THAT HE HAS CREATED YOU

FOR A SPECIFIC MISSION IN THIS WORLD.

The Mission of My Life by Cardinal Newman

The Lord has loved you into being, and since the moment of your conception He has had a

plan for your life. He has created you totally unique. There is no one else in the world quite

like you, and he wanted you to be here in this world. You are not an add‐on, an extra, an

afterthought, or luggage in this world. You are essential, indispensable and important. Jesus

Christ has created you and you alone for some specific mission, and wants to reveal it to

you.

Jesus loves you so much that He invites you to help him save the world. Of course He alone

is the Savior, but He opens up His life to us that we too may share in His mission of

salvation. He is calling you. He is calling you to help him in his salvation of the world. This is

what we mean by vocation. So the first step in discerning your vocation is to understand

that God has created you out of love and in His love invites you to share in his work of

saving the world.

Go ahead and “click” to the profound words about this step from the Venerable John Henry

Cardinal Newman.

STEP 3:

ACCEPT HIS LOVE AND HIS CHOICE FOR YOU.

The second step in discerning the vocation is to open yourself to the Lord’ love. He told His

apostles and now He is saying to you: “t was not you who chose me, but I who chose you." In order to hear His call we have to receive his love. He asks you to accept His love in spite

your past mistakes, your weaknesses, your ignorance, your confusion…n spite of

everything. He wants to overflow you heart with His love. Your task is to be open to receive.

Without God’ grace nothing good happens in this world, and so we need to receive His

grace. His grace enables us to respond say “es”to his call.

Let Him free you so that you can say “es”to His choice for your life. His choice for you is

far better than any choice you can come up with yourself. After all, He made you. He knows

you better than you know yourself. He wants to make you happy and fulfilled, and knows

that only by doing His will can we be free, happy, fulfilled and at peace. As the great poet

Dante wrote, “n his will is our peace." This is often the step that is most challenging to even

the faithful Christian. To say “es”to God without conditions is to put our lives radically at

His disposal. When we say, “ot my will but your will be done,”we are handing over to Him

our plans, our ideas, our goals, our very selves. This can be frightening, but it is only in His

Will that we will find peace in this life and in the world to come.

His Presence in the Most Blessed Sacrament is a primary way in which we encounter and

accept His love and then give ourselves in return. In every Mass, He invites us to unite

ourselves to Him in His Sacrifice on Calvary. In the Liturgy of the Word, He cuts us upon

with His Word from Holy Scripture which is “harper than any two edged sword” so that

He can pour His very self into us. In the Liturgy of the Eucharist we see the Word become

Flesh before our very eyes, and then receive Him into our flesh in Holy Communion. In

every Mass, we join our Blessed Lord in His act of sacrificing Himself for the salvation of the

world, and receive from the altar His very Body and Blood. The Mass is the primary place

where this giving and acceptance of His love happens. To find your vocation, going to Mass

faithfully and often is extremely important.

STEP 4:

MAKE YOURSELF AVAILABLE TO LISTEN TO THE LORD.

If a vocation is a “alling”from God, then we must attune ourselves to His Voice so that we

can hear His call.

PRAYER

Prayer is how we primarily listen to the Lord’ Voice. Oftentimes we know we should pray,

but don’ know how or how to even get started. Please “lick”on the link to the page which

will show you how to start a regular prayer life. If you don’ know how to pray, don’ worry.

The Lord longs to be with you in prayer and will help you. He has already helped us

through His Church by showing us the primary ingredients to a life of prayer. The first is

liturgical prayer. Liturgical prayer is the public prayer of the Church, the greatest

expression of which is Holy Mass. All of the Sacraments, like Confession, are liturgical

prayer. Other examples of liturgical prayer are the Liturgy of the Hours, sometimes called

the “ivine Office" and Eucharistic Adoration. We also need to develop habits of personal

prayer, especially meditation (e.g. lectio divina). Prayer which honors Our Blessed Lady is

indispensable for finding your vocation. The Church and the saints for centuries have

strongly recommended the prayer of the Rosary.

Attuning ourselves to the Voice of the Lord also means becoming aware of the obstacles to

hearing His Voice. Sin and noise are the two major obstacles which get in the way of

hearing His Voice.

SIN

Sin is perhaps the most obvious obstacle because sin means turning away from Him. Thus

sin can never be seen as just the breaking of rules. Sin harms and can even destroy our

relationship with the God who created us, hung on the Cross for us, and who is calling us to

our mission. In discernment, sin is like mud that gets in our spiritual eyes and ears making

us blind and deaf to the Lord.

To answer God’ call in life we must be free, and being free to say “yes" entails being freed

from our sins. We are not born free nor can we become free on our own. Only Jesus can free

us. Freedom from sins is accomplished primarily through the Sacrament of Confession. You

will never know your vocation and be able to respond generously and freely to God without

receiving the Sacrament of Confession regularly. It is strongly recommended that during

discernment you should go to confession at least every two weeks and never less often

than once a month. Not only does this great Sacrament forgive sin but it also pours

sanctifying grace into your soul. This sanctifying grace is Jesus' own divine life. Being

saturated with sanctifying grace will go a long way in discovering your vocation.

A very good exercise during discernment is a General Confession. Making a General

Confession can greatly aid the acceptance of forgiveness and allowing Jesus to help us put

the past to rest. This practice is especially recommended by one of the Church’ greatest

spiritual directors, St. Francis de Sales, and is entirely distinct from “eneral absolution” A

General Confession is a spiritual exercise in which one goes through his entire life and

confesses every sin he can remember. The purpose is not to re-forgive those sins or beat

oneself up about them. (Once a sin is forgiven it is always forgiven.) Rather the exercise

helps one to let go of the past and to trust Jesus even more deeply. It usually takes about an

hour and so it is advisable to set up an appointment with one’ confessor in advance.

After we have allowed Him to free us from mortal or serious sins, then we have the ongoing

work of dealing with venial sins and our attachments to sin. Attachments to sin are those

desires to sin even if we don’ follow through on the evil act. It’ wishing you could get

away with it. St. Francis de Sales likens attachment to sin as the Israelites in the desert who

sometimes longed for the life of Egypt (especially the melons and “lesh pots” that is,

decent food) even though it was the place of their slavery. Those attachments, even if they

don’ spawn sin, keep us back spiritually. Those things though seemingly small, keep us

from being totally attached to Jesus and His beautiful will.

NOISE

Noise is another obvious obstacle. We live in a world of noise. Often when we come to

discern we are already immersed in noise: habits of watching a lot of television, idle

conversations with others, video or computer games, listening to music all the time, etc.

Rarely do we have silence (exterior or interior) in our day. In fact when we are silent we

can start to get fidgety or even begin to freak out. St. Ignatius of Loyola, the spiritual master

of discernment, said “t’ true that the voice of God, having once fully penetrated the heart,

becomes strong as the tempest and loud as the thunder, but before reaching the heart it is

as weak as a light breath which scarcely agitates the air. It shrinks from noise, and is silent

amid agitation." Therefore, if you want to know your vocation, begin to develop habits of

silence. The first way to develop silence is to limit our time on television, video and

computer games, the Internet, and using music as incessant background noise. I think a

good rule of thumb is that one should not spend more than two hours a day total on those

activities. The only way to do this is TURN IT OFF. Those things are not evil in themselves,

but without using them with the virtue of moderation, they create spiritual static in our

hearts and dull our spiritual sensitivity. The second way to develop silence is to develop

habits of quiet prayer, reading (especially the works of our spiritual tradition), and just

thinking and pondering.

STEP 5:

COOPERATE WITH HIM IN CLEARING AWAY

OBSTACLES TO FREE YOU TO SAY "YES".

Step three dealt with beginning to attune ourselves to His Voice. But even after we know of

His love and choice for us, and have begun to attune ourselves to His Voice, we may soon

realize that we are not completely free to give ourselves to Him. Perhaps there are things

inside us that make us hesitate or even pull away from His call. So as we consider His love

and choice for us, we must also consider, “m I free to say ‘es’to Him?" What keeps us

from giving our entire selves over in love to Him?

PAST HURTS

Past hurts can be complicated and complicating in the discernment process. Sometimes our

sins are not the problem, but the sins of someone else who has hurt us. Past hurts can

impair our ability to trust, and saying “es”to Jesus requires a lot of trust. These past hurts

can take the form of some sort of abuse, the neglect or absence of a father or mother,

rejection by a girlfriend, etc. It can be a rough out there in the brutal world. Past hurts not

only hurt our ability to trust, but they can also interfere with one’ ability to receive love

and to give love in return. Past hurts have a way of creating an environment of anger and

fear in one’ life. Past hurts can be difficult to forgive, and any lack of forgiveness prevents

us from giving ourselves over completely to Jesus. We may find forgiveness difficult

because we haven’ yet dealt with the just anger we have about it. The good news is that

Jesus is conqueror of sin and death, and longs to heal anyone who has been hurt so that

they can receive His love and give love in return. It doesn’ matter what has happened,

Jesus declares loudly to us in Revelation: “ehold, I make all things new”(Rev. 21:5).

Practically a few things can be done. First, have confidence in Jesus who comes to free you

and make things new in your life. I would suggest finding a priest you can trust and open up

the pain to him. Just talking through it privately with someone trustworthy can bring an

enormous amount of healing, and he can pray with you and offer counsel. I often suggest

that the person make a list of people with whom he has “nfinished business" and then

write a letter to that person, which of course they won’ send. The letter will contain what

that person did and the bad impact it had on his life. This exercise helps to get the hurt and

the anger out so that Jesus' love and forgiveness can be poured in, thereby making the

heart more liberated to forgive and to say “es”to Jesus. Sharing such letters with that

trustworthy priest can bring even more healing.

FEAR

Fear also inhibits our complete gift of self to Jesus in love. The fear I’ talking about is not

the awe and wonder of holy fear, but rather a crippling fear. Crippling fear is never from

God, but rather from the devil, and we are asked to resist it and allow Jesus to cast it out of

us. A person cannot discern in fear. The fears can be varied and many: “ hear Him knocking

at the door of my heart, and I’ scared to say ‘yes’to Him.”“’ afraid to move away from

home and my family." I'll be happy as a priest?”“’I've done too many terrible things to

be a priest.”“My parents want grandchildren and they won’ have any if I become a priest." What will be left of me if I give myself totally over to Him?”“My friends think I’ crazy for thinking about it." Jesus says over and over again, “Be not afraid!" Our late Holy Father, John Paul the Great

echoed this line frequently, and Pope Benedict has continued it, because it is so needed. We

live in a world of fear. St. John tells us, “here is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out

fear”(1Jn. 4:18). Jesus casts out fear; He can put fears to rest. He can do this when together

with Him we face them with courage and bring them to prayer. I would suggest sitting

before the Blessed Sacrament and simply list the fears on a piece of paper. Then go over

that list with Him in prayer and ask Him conquer them in you. I would also suggest

discussing these fears with a confessor or spiritual director.

Dealing with sin, past hurts and fear will free us and purify our love for Him so that His

Voice can begin to resonate deep within our hearts. It will help to clear stuff away to that

we can begin to see our radiant, risen Lord Jesus with our vocation in His hands. When we

hear His voice and fill our eyes with His presence before us, we will be in a position to say,

“es, Lord Jesus. I say ‘es’ Be it done unto me according to Your will. Yes Lord, send me.”
STEP 6:

GIVE YOURSELF ENTIRELY TO CHRIST IN LOVE—BE HOLY!

The next step than is to respond to that love with all that we are. We seek to give ourselves

entirely to Jesus. Receiving His love and striving to get ourselves back to Him in love is

called a “ersonal relationship" with Jesus. In order to understand the meaning of your life

and what you are supposed to do with your life requires a personal relationship with Jesus

Christ. Another way of putting it is to ask yourself, “o I know Jesus, or do I only know

personal relationship.

Loving Jesus means to strive after holiness. Holiness is our first vocation which was given

to us at Baptism. Holiness means to live the life of God here and now. Within this call to

holiness emerges the more specific call of the state of life in the Church: marriage,

priesthood, or religious/consecrated life. The life of holiness involves prayer

(contemplating God) and virtue (living God’s life) and asceticism (opening up oneself to

God’s life).

SACRAMENTS

The Sacraments give us sanctifying grace. This is God’s own power and life at work within

us. The Sacraments communicate God’s own life to our souls. In discernment we focus

especially on the Sacraments we can receive more than once: Confession and Holy

Communion. It is vitally important during discernment that one receives Holy Communion

as often as possible. Daily communion is ideal. Confession, as mentioned above, is essential

and needs to be more than once a month. It can be especially helpful to go to confession to

the same priest so that he gets to know your soul and can offer more specific advice.

For more on the Sacraments see the other pages on the Blessed Sacrament and the

Sacrament of Confession on this website.

PRAYER

Prayer is our vital, daily and intimate contact with the Lord. It entails the lifting of our

hearts and minds to Him who is with us throughout the day. Prayer is more about listening

than speaking to Him, but it involves both. A man must be praying if he wants to know his

vocation. An entire page on this website is devoted to developing a habit and daily routine

of prayer. Only committed, daily prayer which would include Mass, Confession, the Rosary

and Scriptural meditation leads to one’s vocation. Much can be learned about prayer in the

of prayer are Eucharistic Adoration, Lectio divina with Holy Scripture, the Rosary, the

Chaplet of Divine Mercy, etc. But the most important thing about prayer is to JUST DO IT.

A personal relationship is built upon personal prayer. Therefore you must make time in

your day to be with Him exclusively and not just when it is convenient. We make time for

friends and important people, and there was no one else who is a better friend or more

important person in your life than Jesus Christ. So these other links on this page will

explain further how to develop a routine of prayer on how important the sacraments are

and living the virtues live in a moral life.

VIRTUE

used to convey “manliness” or “power”. Virtue is a habit, that is, a virtue is not something

we do now and again, but it is something that we do regularly, even without thinking about

it. Part of the life of virtue is that we strive to live according to His commandments, and to

develop habits that will help us keep His commandments. Jesus said, “If you love me, keep

my commandments.”

You can find out more on Sacraments, Prayer and Virtue by clicking on the link in the “VSP

Please look at the link to “Men of the Beatitudes” and “Pure Love” for developing virtue and

growing in Christian manhood.

ASCETICISM (“MAKING SACRIFICES”)

Asceticism helps to open up our human nature to receive the Lord’s life. Asceticism also

sharpens our spiritual senses. To love means to give yourself and giving ourselves in love

involves sacrifice. When two people love each other they do things for each other and make

sacrifices for one another. Sacrifices are not made just for the sake of “giving up” things, but

are gifts given out of love. In its most basic sense asceticism means to thwart one’s own will

in order to embrace the Lord’s will. Asceticism means curbing our earthly desires

(pleasure, things, my own way, etc.) in order to open up our spiritual desires (prayer, good

works, etc.). The most important sacrifice to offer the Lord is the sacrifice of one’s will of

doing good when we don't feel like doing good. This type of sacrifice can take the form of

doing one’s chores around the house with a smile, taking on an extra chore, or helping a

brother with his homework. The sacrifice can mean letting a brother or sister have his or

her way or allowing him or her to play with or use one of your possessions.

Every time we resist temptation and avoid sin we are practicing asceticism. Resisting

temptation can be quite painful, yet offering that suffering to the Lord with love is very

pleasing to Him. Always remember, the more hidden the asceticism is, the more effective it

is. A good way to begin practicing asceticism is unplugging from all the noise mentioned

above and limiting one’s time with TV or computer games. It is important to remember that

asceticism is not an end in itself. Asceticism is only good insofar as it opens us up to love

and leads us to be more loving to Jesus and our neighbor. It’s also important to remember

that we don’t do ascetical works to earn Jesus’ love or grace, we do it to accept more deeply

His love and grace that He already offers. Asceticism will help to sharpen our sensitivity to

Him and His Voice.

STEP 7:

BEGIN TO DISTINGUISH THE

"FOUR VOICES" OF DISCERNMENT.

In the process of discernment we can become aware of four voices, and learning to

distinguish them from one another helps tremendously in discernment. The four voices are

the Lord’s, our own, the world’s, and the devil’s. By attuning ourselves to the Lord’s we can

begin to tell these other voices from each other, which is why steps 1‐5 are important.

Those steps attune us to the Voice of the Lord. It is not always easy to tell these voices apart

from one another, therefore discernment requires time, patience, struggle and

perseverance. Confusion, frustration and sometimes even outright rebellion can be part of

the discernment process. Nevertheless Jesus tells us, “e not afraid. I am here." His love can

conquer everything, and if we open ourselves to the power of His grace, we will come to

find our vocation. Jesus' desire to tell us is infinitely greater than our desire to know. We

only need confidence in Him.

THE VOICE OF THE LORD

The Lord’ Voice is that which is communicating His constant and unfailing love to us. We

hear His Voice in His Divine Revelation, both in Holy Scripture and in Holy Tradition, and in

the Magisterium of His Church. We hear His Voice urging us to do good in our actions, to

trust in Him, to sacrifice out of love. Discouragement and confusion are never the Voice of

Jesus even when we sin. His voice always communicates confidence and hope in Him. His

Voice is always saying, “ love you no matter what." His Voice is also challenging because He

is always calling us to a deeper conversion to Him.

With regard to your vocation, you can be sure that He is calling you, as a man, to the

vocation of marriage, the priesthood or consecrated life (religious life or consecrated

virginity in the world). His Voice is never deceptive, nor does He play games. Therefore,

you can be confident that to whichever vocation He calls you, He will also give you the

graces to accomplish it and the desire to do it. Sometimes we are tempted to think that

Jesus will call us to a life that we do not want or cannot accomplish. This is not the Voice of

Jesus. Within His call lies all the graces and desires to live that vocation.

THE VOICE OF ONESELF

Our own voice is expressed in the deep down desires of our heart. Part of growing up is

becoming aware of who we are and what are the deep desires of our heart. Hopefully as a

young man you have a desire to be heroic, a desire to change the world, a desire to love and

serve the Lord Jesus with all that you are. However, it is not always so easy. Sometimes our

deepest desires are in conflict. Our own sinfulness, that part of ourselves that is still under

the dominion of Satan can clamor loudly. Sometimes our voice is in conflict with the Voice

of the Lord. Sometimes the conflict can lie in choosing between two good things: “ want to

be a priest, and I want to be married." Our voice always stands in need of more conversion.

Your truest self are those desires which have been placed there by Jesus and are in

harmony with the desires that Jesus has for you. One way to become attune to your own

voice is to become aware of what you think about when your mind is free. When you have a

moment to yourself, what do you think about? Is there something that comes to mind often

or even constantly? That is a beginning indication of your own voice. After becoming aware

of what you think about during the day, ask Jesus and yourself, “hy do I think about those

things? What is the motivation behind those things?" THE VOICE OF THE WORLD

The voice of the world is a voice that is under the dominion of the devil, and thus could be

considered an extension of the voice of Satan. The voice of the world calls us to put our

trust in the things of this world: prestige, money, fame, relationships, to be a famous rock

star, to become important, to get a big house, expensive car, money-making career. It is the

voice we hear in advertising, on TV shows, and in much of the music on the radio. The

“noise" that is mentioned above is part of the voice of the world. This voice tempts us to

forget about Heaven, our salvation and the Lord’ call in our life. It tries to drown out the

Voice of Jesus and His love.

THE VOICE OF THE DEVIL

The voice of the devil is that voice that is always trying to lead us away from Jesus and to

remain slave to him. His voice always tells us to doubt the Lord’ goodness and not to trust

in Him. It is the voice that says that “ know better than He does." It is the voice that tells us

to say “No” to Jesus. The most obvious example of the voice of the devil is the temptation to

sin, but he can be very cunning, and as St. Paul says can appear as an angel of light. If the

devil cannot get us to listen to sin, he then will try to get us to choose something good, but

which is not the good that Jesus wants for us. In other words, the devil’ voice can try to

make us choose a lesser good over the greater good that Jesus has for us. Always remember

that the devil is a liar and a murderer and can be very cunning. In the discernment process

it can be confusing to figure out whose voice is whose. Sometimes there is so much

confusion in the heart because we have not yet been able to distinguish the Lord’ voice

from one’ own or the devil’.

Great progress is made in finding your vocation when you can begin to distinguish these

four voices with regard to the vocational choice. By turning away from and ruling out the

voices of the world and the devil, greater clarity and less confusion are gained. One is ready

to make the free choice of the specific vocation when the Voice of the Lord sounds the one

vocation and your own voice echoes the same vocation.

I would say that for the most part, we cannot distinguish these voices very well without the

help of a spiritual director. You may find that a regular confessor (going to the same priest

every time you make your confession) can also help you distinguish the voices. A spiritual

director is one (usually a priest) who is familiar with the spiritual life and who also leads a

life of conversion and prayer in his vocation. By finding a spiritual director and meeting

regularly with him, you can go a long way in recognizing and distinguishing the four voices

so that you can choose whatever the Lord’ Voice is saying to you.

STEP 8:

MAKING A CHOICE

Proper discernment leads us to hear and understand which vocation the Lord Jesus would

like us to choose for His greater glory and the salvation of our soul and the souls of others.

At some point the discernment about your vocation is supposed to end, and you are asked

by Jesus to make a life long choice for a state of life. This is the natural progression of

discernment. The saints, and all those seeking to follow Christ, have been doing this for

millennia. You and I are not the first Christians to have to make a life‐long choice.

Facing such a choice can make us afraid, especially when we live in times where people are

scared about making a life‐long commitment. This can be especially difficult if you come

from a family broken by divorce or filled with dysfunction or resentment. There are many

examples around us of people breaking their life‐long commitments or being unfaithful to

them. However, we should look not to the broken examples but rather to the saints –they

are our model for how to live well in this life. To commit ourselves entirely to Jesus

necessarily involves a life‐long commitment. Love commits itself; true love cannot give

itself only temporarily, or half‐heartedly. It wants to commit itself. It longs to unite the

lover with the beloved. We may avoid making such a choice, but the choice not to commit is

a choice not to love.

It may seem obvious but we aren't supposed to remain in a state of perpetual discernment

of our vocation. Of course we are always discerning the will of God in our daily lives, but

the choice for our state of life in the Church should come to an end. In making a choice we

move from discerning our vocation to preparing for our vocation. The choice brings the

discernment to an end, and with that comes a new found freedom to begin living with

clarity and hope. There is no other way to serve the Lord than by stepping out in courage

and proper discernment, and by making a definitive choice for your life. We become holy

and happy through commitment.

THE THREE FUNDAMENTAL STATES OF LIFE IN THE CHURCH

All the states of life in the Church are based upon marriage and involve entering into some

sort of spousal relationship. Why is this? Because the Church is the Body and Bride of

Christ and we are in relationship with Christ through the Church. If the fundamental

relationship of Jesus with the Church is a nuptial one, then all the states of life within the

Church are fundamentally nuptial.

Jesus wedded the Church to Himself on the Cross, and so at the center of every state of life

in the Church is the Cross. It is important to keep this truth in mind. Every vocation will

involve the Cross and so there will be times when living our vocation is difficult and

requires sacrifice. But the suffering of the Cross always leads to the glory of the

Resurrection. We have to die to ourselves to be alive in Christ.

Every state of life is an image of the nuptial union of Christ and His Church (marriage) or

points to the eschatological fulfillment of this relationship (priesthood and religious life). In

other words, some men and women who would normally enter into the vocation to

marriage are called by Jesus to prefigure its final consummation in Heaven where men and

women are no longer given in marriage (Lk 20:35).

MARRIAGE

Marriage is the "natural vocation", the original vocation that was not lost in the Fall. The

Lord Jesus elevated this natural and noble vocation to the level of a Sacrament, and the well

being of the Church depends upon good and holy marriages. Out of this vocation comes the

domestic church and the family as the basic building block of human society. Marriage can

be thought of as the "default vocation" in that one does not need an explicit call from God to

enter in the state of Holy Matrimony. In fact, without an explicit call to the priesthood or

some form of consecrated life in the course of discernment, you can assume that you are

being called to the married state.

Holy Matrimony is an image of the nuptial relationship between Christ and the Church. It is

a relationship between one man and one woman that is 1) exclusive, 2) life long and 3)

open to children. The vocation is intended for the union of spouses, the begetting and

rearing of children, the sanctification of spouses and children, and to be salt and light in the

secular world.

PRIESTHOOD

The priest is a man who is called by Jesus to share in His spousal relationship with the

the Church). The priest is a real man who is made into a husband to the Church and

spiritual father to all. Through the grace of Holy Orders, a man is ontologically changed,

that is, he is changed on the level of his being to be in the person of Christ. He exercises this

spiritual fatherhood following that of Jesus as prophet, priest and king, that is,

sanctifying the people through the Sacraments, especially Holy Mass and Confession, and

he leads the people who are entrusted to him to the life of Heaven.

It is important to note that the priest is not “single” nor did his vocational discernment lead

him away from marriage but rather leads him to share in Jesus spousal relationship with

the Church.

CONSECRATED LIFE

Consecrated life involves taking the three evangelical vows of poverty, chastity and

obedience. These evangelical counsels imitate Christ’s life on earth and prefigure our final

state in Heaven. In this way religious life shares in the nuptial banquet of the Lamb.

There are many ways of living the consecrated life, in a community or as a solitary.

Consecrated life also can be more contemplative or more active. More contemplative

communities would be the Benedictines, Carthusians, Trappists or Carmelites. More active

communities would be the Dominicans, Francisicans, or Jesuits. Consecrated life that is

more solitary would be a hermit, a consecrated virgin and sometimes as a member of a

secular institute. Each type of consecrated life involves the living of the evangelical

counsels according to the particular charism of the founder who is often a saint.

A WORD ABOUT THE "SINGLE LIFE"…

Sometimes in vocation circles we hear of a vocation to the "single life". However, we should

understand this in the correct sense. Jesus always calls His followers into a permanent state

of life which involves the taking of promises or vows. With this understanding, the single

life would mean some sort of consecrated life in the world. If a person is "single" it is

because he or she has made vows, either public or private, of consecration to the Lord.

By following these steps, you will be able to go a long way in making progress on discerning

and choosing your vocation. The important thing is to keep at it and not give up on any of

the steps, and to have patience with the process. Keep giving it over to the Lord and it will

happen. I also suggest that you begin to pray one “Hail Mary” each day to Our Lady asking

her to help you discover and say “Yes” to your vocation. It’s a small prayer, but I’ve found it

to be very powerful.

You can learn more about vocational discernment from

Fr. Chris Rogers, Vocations Director of the Archdiocese of Philadelphia

He says many helpful things.