Forty couples learn spiritual
   and emotional richness of
   
   Natural Family Planning

The Gift We Continue to Give Each Other
By Karen and Alex DelGosso


When we were planning our marriage, we can remember receiving personal advice, clever poems, catching sayings and even formal instructions from family, friends, and strangers all proclaiming to be the recipe for a "successful" marriage. Successful conjures up many connotations that take on different meanings for different people.
For us, we wanted more than a marriage that remained intake "until death do us part" (which most saw as a sign of a successful marriage). We already believed that on our wedding day, we had committed ourselves for life before God. With that as a given, we knew that we wanted to live our married life with the fullness of love that the sacrament of marriage intends to offer. We looked forward to our love growing into new depths through all the circumstances that life brought our way. Since neither one of us would settle for a stale or status quo relationship, we were prepared to work at nurturing and feeding our relationship. In retrospect, we now know that the self-help books on family and marriage in our local book stores wouldn't have provided the answers we were looking for. Little did we know at the beginning that the true formula for keeping the flame glowing within our relationship would be Natural Family Planning (NFP).
When we accepted NFP as a way of life for us we never dreamed of the blessings that it would bring to our relationship. There is no secret to this; it is built into the process that allows you to use the method. We are not talking about the method of tracking fertility; rather, we are talking about the "fruits" that are borne when you practice NFP.
For any relationship to thrive, it needs to be fed with love, respect, and trust. NFP couples continue to fill their relationship with these crucial ingredients. For instance, how can we not love each other more when we know the other is using NFP so as not to offend God? Neither one of us want to harm our bodies with harmful chemical or artificial devices, nor do we want to alter our bodies to prevent new life. We respect each other and our bodies and appreciate the love-giving and life-giving natures of the marital union.
We have grown in our communication as we mutually take on the role of monitoring our fertility. These conversations have paved the way to speak openly about other subjects including the subject of spirituality. We feed and nurture each other in our walk with Christ. We are more open to sharing and experiencing new ways to grow in our faith.
Since we deal with our fertility as an ongoing, monthly, mutual decision, all other decisions become mutual. It has become second nature to include each other in all decisions that need to be made even the decision to have children. It is awesome to know that we are cooperators with God in bringing forth children. That is why we see our children as gifts from God. When we became parents, we became better people. Our children have helped us to become more selfless, giving, compassionate, affectionate, thoughtful, and caring. Only our children, through the grace of God, have allowed these qualities to surface.
The courtship still remains in our friendship. Tenderness, gentleness, and thoughtfulness sprinkle our relationship and aren't these qualities the precursors to genuine intimacy? We trust that we have each other's best interest at heart. We were friends before we were married and we remain best friends for each other now.
If this sounds magical, it isn't. When you practice NFP, these fruits blossom naturally if you cultivate the proper attitude toward your sexuality - if you consent to living your marital covenant the way God intended it to be lived out. The decision to practice NFP was and is a gift that we continue to give each other.
Couples cannot embrace NFP unless they know about it and couples cannot understand NFP unless they are taught it. If you want to learn more about NFP, we encourage you to attend the upcoming NFP 4-part class series which begins on Friday, March 30, 2001 at 7:00 PM in SFA's library. The remaining three classes will be held at the same time and place on April 27, May 18 and June 8. If you would like to register to 'attend the classes, seek information on the home study program or have questions, you may contact Alex or Karen DelGrosso, certified Couple to Couple League instructors of the Sympto-Thermal method of NFP, at 610-627-0224. Pray for the grace to learn how God wants you to live your married life -- the NFP way. God bless you.


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